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Have you heard the expression “Boots on the Ground?” Well our Live Dead Missionaries are the boots on the Silk Road. Here we’d like to take a moment and allow one of them to share a snapshot of their life with you. Some names and details have been changed, but this is a true story from this colorful, vibrant, and sometimes surprising region.

“If you died today, what would be your regrets?”

This question was asked recently at a church study group.  As people began to answer this question the most dominate response was that there was a regret of not having been personally responsible for a confession of faith or having not done it enough times.  As I sat and listened the answer that came to my heart did not align with everyone else.

The answer that resonated within me was that I really don’t have any regrets.

Not that I am perfect or have done everything right.  Not because there is nothing to change about myself.  Hardly!  Put simply, it’s because I’m ready to go to heaven.  My little girl is in heaven and I think about her often.  So often.  Those thoughts of her many days turn my heart toward heaven.

Not a Perfect Resume

As we sat in this study my husband confessed to never having a person join God’s kingdom based solely on his leading, and I’m part of that group too… I’ve never walked the Roman road with anyone, on the field or off.  That is a hard thing to swallow as it’s my job.  It’s why we live through the harshness of adapting to another culture, why we put hours upon hours into learning a new language, why we leave family and friends… yet our ‘resume’ is lacking in this major way.

But, as I continued to examine myself last night my initial answer remained.  I look forward to the day when a person does come to know the greatest friend there is before my very eyes because I introduced them.  However, if I died today I would be overjoyed to reach the gates of heaven.

My husband and I have been obedient.  We have sat with, encouraged, challenged and poured into others.  We have tried our hardest to be real and honest even in this time,  having lost our daughter – our deepest pain to date.

We have followed God through thick and thin even though our steps right now are shaky.  We have stumbled and faltered, but I don’t believe God asks for perfection.  He asks for obedience.

I was surprised by the sureness of the answer as it entered my heart, because at this moment in time I feel the weakest I have ever been.  I feel the most lacking, the most empty.  Yet, in this realization that in obedience there are no regrets I am humbled and slightly stronger, more equipped and more full than I was.

Please pray today for the strengthening of our Missionaries. The battle of personal pain, of inadequacies and difficult places. Pray that we are used mightily by God as we stay obedient to him. No matter the cost.

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